Still by Jay Begay

Still by Jay Begay

“We have rebelled against the Lord our God who still shows mercy.” Daniel 9:9

I woke up with my blankets tangled around my feet thinking “I don’t want to walk in the light.” I have no idea what I was dreaming or why I would say such a thing.

Yesterday, it was hard getting started. Sometimes I just don’t want to have to talk to the people in my house or have to help them with breakfast or whatever. Sometimes I just want to be by myself.

It’s not that I would not help in a crisis but sometimes I just don’t want to have to help all the time. Maybe because the climate is warmer and I feel like I just want to go outside and enjoy the sun without any responsibility.

Do others rebel against being good all the time? Is that rebellion against God?

This Lent, I do think about what kind of man I want to be. I want to be good and walk in the light because I have lived the other way and I know how demeaning it is to always have to lie and avoid people and things when I walk the dark side. I know that I have made the basic decision to be a good person. It is just times like these when I wish I had more time to myself when nothing is expected of me.

I will keep asking these questions. I am glad that even if it is a rebellion against God (which I am not sure about) I am sure that God Still has mercy even when I am not sure what or where I am going.

God has more mercy than I can imagine. I like knowing that.


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