I had a confused understanding of myself, my tradition, my future, everything until one Christmas—actually the week before Christmas. I had only been going to the youth group every once in a while and felt I was going nowhere. Our youth minister came by the house and handed me a new Spirit Journey Youth t-shirt that had printed on the back “Episcopal Natives Walk In Beauty.” I was overwhelmed. I didn’t deserve the gift. I hadn’t been doing anything like helping with the homeless or anything. I muttered something negative and Kaze says something about this being an Advent gift, a gift freely given to a ‘God-Child.” It was like a light going off inside. Stuff clears up in my head. Nothing stops me but me. It seemed so obvious once I got it. Since then Advent is my favorite time of preparation for something fresh. I love expecting something different rather than the same old habits.